Conflict Resolution
Conflict in a club is inevitable — but it doesn't have to be destructive. Handled well, it can be healthy. Learn its causes, five ways to manage it, and a seven-step path to resolution.
Approach conflict as conflict, and that's what it stays. Approach it as a problem to solve, and that's what it becomes.
What you'll be able to do
By the end of this lesson you will be able to:
- Define what conflict resolution really means.
- List the common causes of, and reactions to, conflict.
- Recognise the positive side of well-handled conflict.
- Examine the five core conflict-management styles.
- Follow the seven steps toward a collaborative resolution.
Perception is everything
Conflict resolution is simply 'the act of finding an answer to a strong disagreement between people.' A conflict forms when two people, each pursuing their own goal, come to see the other as an obstacle. The single biggest factor in resolving it is how you choose to see it — as a fight to be won, or a problem to be solved together.
The big picture — mind map
Tap any branch to reveal its key ideas.
What sparks conflict
Five causes show up again and again. Tap each to learn more — all of them come down to differing perceptions.
Handled well, conflict is actually healthy. It surfaces problems that need solving, brings change without threats, sparks fresh ideas, and helps a club clarify what really matters to it.
Five ways to manage conflict
Each style balances assertiveness (meeting your needs) against cooperation (meeting others'). There's a time for each — but one is the goal.
Avoiding
Low on both assertiveness and cooperation: sidestep or postpone. Fine for a trivial issue, but it leaves real conflict unaddressed.
Competing
Assertive but uncooperative: pursue your own aim to win. Useful to defend a right — but costly if it's your default.
Accommodating
Cooperative but unassertive: yield to the other's needs. Generous — but it can slide into self-sacrifice.
Compromising
Middle ground: a fast, mutually acceptable solution that partly satisfies both sides.
Collaborating
High on both: dig into the real cause and find a solution that meets everyone's needs. The most satisfying style — and the goal.
Who should manage club conflict? Everyone — anyone with the knowledge and skill. It isn't only the president's job; it starts with understanding conflict and resolution, exactly what you're doing now.
Seven steps to resolution
They look like common sense — but they're all-inclusive. Skip one and fresh conflict can appear.
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Set a climate of collaboration
Show concern and empathy — even where you disagree — and respond calmly to any emotions that surface.
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Tackle the easy things first
Start with the simple, concrete problems, and include others to help find the root.
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Gather more information
Ask questions — moving from open and general to specific and factual.
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Explain the problem clearly
Stick to facts, behaviours and feelings you own — avoid assumptions, and avoid the word 'you.' Don't finger-point.
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Find some agreement
Agree on some facts, perceptions or principles, and show a genuine willingness to change.
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Listen to every perspective
Let everyone speak and question without judgment. Keep to the original issue — don't add 'more frosting' — and watch for rising emotion.
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Keep going — and call for help
Continue until everyone understands. If you hit a bottleneck, bring in a neutral third party — a guiding lion, or the zone or region chair.
Two cautions: it's often best to approach the individuals separately before bringing them together — and never let a discussion of one conflict drag in every other grievance. Solve the problem in front of you.
Check yourself
Five quick questions. Pick an answer to see instant feedback.
Bring it home
- Think of a recent club disagreement: which of the five causes was really behind it?
- Which conflict style is my own default — and is it serving the club?
- Do we treat each other with the same care we show the people we serve?